Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
