Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
