Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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