I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
