yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
