Umm I'm too high to move.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
