I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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