What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he thought i was a dude.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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