Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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