There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
No subtext here. People are naked.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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