Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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