i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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