Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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