she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
