that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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