Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
