If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
