i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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