Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it was like eating out sand paper
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
