she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
