I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
