Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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