She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
