whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You are the jesus of drinking
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
