She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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