I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
