38 yer olds are good kisserssss
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
