I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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