My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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