So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
