I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
