wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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