I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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