Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
