yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
