My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
