at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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