Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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