Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
