Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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