I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
