I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
