oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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