She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
