Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
