when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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