just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
