I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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