thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
