You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
