just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
